Yumm-o!!!

B and I decided to try this recipe out of our Rachel Ray 365 recipe book tonight.  It was delicious.  Perfect for a nice spring or warm summer day.  I know some of you must be in the mood for a new dinner recipe, and this one is definitely worth a look!!  I think this is something you could definitely serve to guests as well.  Especially with grilled Romaine on the outside of a white platter with the salad in the middle.  Grilled Romaine looks so elegant and different. 

Tex-Mex Grilled Chicken Caesar
2 T chili powder
1 teas. Ground cumin
½ cup EVOO
1 ½ lbs. boneless, skinless chicken breast
5 garlic cloves, 1 clove cracked from skin, 4 cloves finely chopped
3 cups cubed sourdough bread (half of a round loaf)
1 cup grated Parmigiano-Reggiano
3 anchovy fillets, drained, finely chopped (we used small amt of anchovy paste)
½ teas. Crushed red pepper flakes
1 ripe avocado
Zest and juice of 2 limes
1 T Dijon mustard
2 teas. Worcestershire sauce
2 T chopped fresh cilantro
Coarse black pepper
2 large romaine lettuce hearts, coarsely chopped

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees, and preheat a grill pan or outdoor grill on high.

In a shallow dish, combine 1 T chili powder, the cumin, 2 t of the EVOO and some salt. Add the chicken cutlets and coat in the seasoning. Transfer the cutlets to the grill and cook for 3 to 4 minutes on each side. Remove from the grill and slice into very thin strips.
While the chicken is grilling, rub the inside of a salad bowl with the cracked clove of garlic. Set aside. Then place the cubed bread in a clean bowl with the garlic clove and drizzle about 3 T of EVOO and the remaining T of chili powder over the cubed bread. Toss with about ½ cup of the grated cheese and toss to coat thoroughly. Spread the croutons evenly on a rimmed baking sheet and bake until crisp and golden, 10 to 15 minutes.

To make the dressing, place the remaining ¼ cup of EVOO in a small pan with the anchovies, red pepper flakes, and the finely chopped garlic. Stir together over very low heat until the anchovies melt. Remove from the heat and cool.  (If using anchovy paste, you do not need to do over heat)

To prepare the avocado, cut all around the circumference of the ripe avocado, lengthwise and down to the pit. Twist and separate the halved fruit. Remove the pit with a spoon, then scoop the flesh out in one piece from both halves and cut into bite-size pieces.

In the bottom of the reserved salad bowl, combine the lime zest and juice, mustard, Worcestershire, cilantro, salt, and pepper. Whisk in the cooled EVOO with the anchovies and garlic. Add the romaine to the bowl, followed by the croutons, avocado, and the remaining ½ cup grated cheese. Toss the salad to coat, adjust the salt and pepper. Top with sliced chicken.

Enjoy friends!!!!!!!!!

Quick update

11 days to go until May 8th............................................Yowzers!

I've received a few comments over the last few days and wanted to let you all know that Pud is still inside, kicking up a storm.  At the last midwife visit, he/she wasn't "engaged" at all, and I haven't felt it drop (no bowling ball between these legs, ladies!).  Went to the gym last night to see if I could inducde any contractions (big negative) as I will occasionally have them with exercise.  4.5 mile walk with B and Junie tonight scheduled.  I figure that if nothing else, I'll be in good shape when it comes time to push!!

More than likely this baby will be late as many first timers are, but B is betting it comes on the due date at 9:02 p.m.  Specific much???

Oh, and don't worry.  We're taking the computer to the hospital and B knows that after sending out the emails to our immediate family and friends, he is to update the blog prior even to Facebook.  It's the rule :)
Hopefully that will come with a picture attached, and it will definitely come with a name and a sex!!!  Woo Hoo!  I cannot wait to find out if our little bowl of Puddin' is a boy or a girl.  That's the ONLY reason I want it to come early, seriously, I'm DYING to know!!!

Springtime yard beauty

When we saw our house for the first time, it was the end of October and all the leaves were turning.  When we moved in, it was Dec 22nd and there was nothing but snow on the ground.  We had no idea what to expect when spring and summer came along, and we (so far) are really happy with the way the gardens are coming along for late April.

We have quite a few pink and white flowering trees in the front yard (the next three pics)

They're gorgeous.  Just a week or two more and they'll be in full bloom.

We also have a few flowering trees in the backyard that are just beginning to bud.  Hopefully they'll be as pretty as those in the front.

Our two tulips that bloomed.  We are going to buy a ton of bulbs this fall and add them to this section of the garden as well as in front of the bushes that are near our walkway.  We also only have two daffodils in another section of the garden.  So weird.  We'll just have to get more springtime flowers (hyacinth, crocuses, etc) over time.

And just so you know how crazy my husband is, he decided that when I was taking pics for the blog, he would climb one of the trees and have me do a photo shoot.  Silly boy!!

Junie in the Springtime

One pretty (and very large) pup who has no idea what is about to hit her.  We're trying to take every opportunity to play outside with her and give her all the love and attention we can before Pud makes his/her way in!!!  She is loving the warmer weather and will sit on our front stoop for hours in the sun.  It's precious!

Today it's pouring out and she's sitting by the backdoor whining away wanting to go out and play.  She doesn't understand that momma is NOT about ready to throw balls and play tug in the rain.  Poor girl. 

Special for Puddin'

Remember this post where I showed you all Pud's darling coming home outfit?  I had mentioned that I was originally going to buy a pink and a blue onesie and take them both to the hospital to go under the outfit.  Instead I was awesomely surprised at my shower when my friend who owns a monogramming business in Indy gave me this as part of my gift: 

(oops, ignore the random red thread!)

So perfect and so perfectly neutral.  I am soooooo excited to put this on him or her!

A darling shower gift!

I wanted to show you guys this diaper cake that my aunt made for me as a shower gift.  I thought this was such a great idea.  You get a super practical thing (the diapers) with a bunch of cute accessories that can be changed up depending on who you are giving it to.  I have seen them before (so I'm sure you have to), but I just love it so much that I wanted to post about it here!!

Don't you just love that all the diapers are tied with pink and green ribbons?

37 weeks (and wondering how I'll do 3 more!)

Holy Goodness!  This belly is gigungous.  All I have to say is that this better be a big baby because I can't imagine what else is hiding in there.  Yowzers!  I'm definitely starting to do the pregnancy waddle by the end of the day, and my feet and hips hurt by the time bedtime rolls around.  I just know that this is completely worth it in the end (and am so thankful that my feet aren't swelling- all my shoes still fit!)

The darling chalkboard is hanging in our kitchen.  We bought it at an antique store a few weeks ago and it looks perfect in it's spot.  The opposite, equal wall has a 24" clock on it, so they really balance each other out. 

I do want to thank all of you for your comments on my last post.  I tried to get back to as many of you as possible (I wrote back to those that come with email addresses in their responses), but I just wanted to let you ALL know that I really, really appreciated your kindness, support, and uplifting words.  It really helps knowing that I have a wonderful support system of bloggers.  I just wish I could thank you all in real life with a plate of cookies or a basket of sweet breads. 

Have a wonderful week, darlings!

Let's chat, shall we?

Feelings I've been feeling lately:

Guilty
Overwhelmed
Nervous
Scared
Burdened
Aching
Worried

Are these all about the arrival of Pud?  Actually, not really at all.  It's more about what I haven't shared here than what I have.

We moved here for my new job in December.  Both of us had wanted to move to Michigan for numerous reasons, this job presented itself, and it was pretty much a dream job for me.  However, we knew B would have to leave his company in order to move.  We thought he would be able to do his job from home for awhile, however that did not work out at all, and he has been unemployed since December.  We also thought that with his experience, his MBA, his great recommendations, and his love for his field, it wouldn't be all that difficult to find something for him.  (Yes, we knew we were in the middle of a recession and moving to one of the worst economies in the nation; however we were still obviously quite naive about what that truly meant.)

I feel guilty so often because, even though we really did come to this decision as a couple, it was truly my desire for this job that led us here.  B has never once blamed me in any way, shape, or form, but I still feel that essentially it is my fault he is not working.  He LOVES work- loves his field (logistics, supply chain), loves feeling productive, loves being praised for a job well done, loves getting up in the morning and having a structured day, loves coming home at the end of the day feeling fulfilled.  I understand this as I love my job as well, however, it is obviously much harder on a man in our society to be "home" while the wife is working.  No, it is not 1957, but it's stil not easy. 

I'm often overwhelmed because my job is new, I'm working incredibly long hours, and I don't feel that I have the time I need to complete all the things I want to do.  B is great at getting all the house stuff done, grocery shopping, running errands, etc but I like doing some of that and I feel bad making lists for him of things that I need done.  While I always did that for him in Chicago when I would have mid-week days off, it's very difficulty for me to reverse roles.  I definitely feel I need more hours in the day or my body needs to require less sleep.  I'm guessing neither of those is going to happen anytime soon.

We're both nervous about how things will go financially once Pud arrives.  With my new job, we are having no problems paying for the mortgage, bills, etc.  Plus, B is able to collect some $$ from unemployment.  However, diapers, baby clothes, co-pays at the doctor, a college account, and other things we don't even know about yet can add up quickly, and it may become a little difficult to figure out how to do all that.  We have always been careful with our money and still have a healthy savings acct (even after the purchase of the house), but I do not like to dip into that for unnecessary things, so what's the line on unecessary?

Still scared over the idea of giving birth.  I'm getting MUCH better about this (thanks for all of your amazing comments on that post- it really, really helped.  I've definitely gone back and read them all a time or three!), but the fear of the unknown is still there.

I'm feeling burdened by being the "sole breadwinner" in the family.  I have prayed and prayed over this a lot and have truly realized that God really wants me to realize how hard it must be for anyone to feel sole responsibility in a marriage.  I have quite a few friends who stay at home and have always thought that this would be so wonderful and truly a goal in life.  However, I never once thought about it from the man's perspective and how hard it must be to know that you are everything your family is relying on.  College education, mortgage, clothes for everyone, groceries, bills, car payments, vacations, etc.  I now know that it is very difficult to feel confidently "above water" when just one thing (like not getting paid for maternity leave as in our situation) can potentially tip you from doing really well to having to worry a lot more.  This whole concept has definitely made me realize that working even a few days a week in order to have a cushion is whole-heartedly worth it.  If you are one of the truly lucky women who gets to stay home with your babies, children, and teens, please remember to thank your husband and God for that opportunity.  It's an amazing blessing.  It also is a huge blessing to me to know that while this is currently how I am feeling, it will change as soon as B starts working, and the burden will be lifted off my shoulders and placed on both of us equally.  I do have to say that those thoughts really do help me get through some of my harder days.

My heart is  aching over the thought that I will not be able to take all 12 weeks of time off with Pud when he/she arrives.  Due to our current status, I will more than likely going back after 6 weeks, but potentially getting to stay home for 9.  We could use our savings in order to supplement a full 12 weeks off, but that seems selfish and I just can't do that.  I do have a hard time with the idea that I will be leaving this little, tiny, helpess infant and going back to work just for a paycheck, but really, it's my responsibility as a parent to ensure that Pud has all the essentials (house, food, clothing) and that paycheck will pay for those.  The only blessing here is that B will be home with the babe, so I won't have to drop it off at daycare at week 6.  I would NEVER be able to make it to work that day if I did.  B will take as good of care of it as I would, so I know it will be safe, happy, and thoroughly loved the entire time I am gone.  (I do worry about it loving him more than me, but that's a worry for another day). 

I also worry because I know B never wanted (or truly ever considered) being a stay at home dad, and I fear that he will resent and blame either me or Pud for all that is happening.  Truly, he is an amazing man, and I don't anticipate this happening b/c this is not in his character, but it's still a nagging thought in the back of my head.  I just pray he falls head over heels for this little one and that being a dad is enough to make him happy until he is able to find a job. 

Whoa, writing this has been cathartic, but writing about all this has also been one of the more difficult things I have done.  It's hard to write about things that aren't good or fluffy.  But since I'm way pregnant and not able to fund my dream summer wardrobe (and who knows what size I'll be anyway), fluffy is hard right now.  Thanks for letting me get all this out.  Please don't feel like I am asking for crazy amounts of sympathy- I still do realize that I am incredibly lucky in so many areas of my life.  I just really, really wish that B could feel less frustrated with his job search and fulfilled professionally. 

PS- If any of you knows anyone in Michigan who needs an amazing project manager, supply chain/logistics consultant, or any combination of transportation management- you know where to find a very handsome and highly qualified one :)  Or, even if the job is in another state and would let him work from home with up to 80% travel, we'd be okay with that too!! 

At 36.5 weeks..............

you might as well just give up on trying to do sit-ups!  Last night at the gym I went to do them, as per my norm, and it was miserable.  Not only could I not do them, every time I tried I refluxed what was left of my lunch in my stomach up into my mouth (I know, so gross right?????).  Completely and utterly disgusting.  So, abs, you are done until Pud is here.  There is just not enough room for you in my life anymore!

Thoughts on not finding out the sex prior to birth

I told B early on in pregnancy that I didn't want to find out the sex of the baby prior to delivery.  He was definitely shocked by that statement and wasn't convinced right away that it was the best decision.  However, another couple we're really good friends with also opted not to find out, and after a long discussion with them, we all were on board with having a surprise (btw- they just had a baby boy about a month ago, Levi John).

Now that we are 36 weeks into pregnancy, I thought I'd share my thoughts on being one of the few pregnant women who chooses not to know if Pud is going to wear  dresses and bows or tennies and overalls. 

According to a few things I've read, it's anywhere between 3-10% of Americans who choose not to find out the sex of their child prior to delivery.  We personally know 11 people who are pregnant between Jan- July and, actualy, 3 of those couples didn't find out (including us).  Our percentage is, I guess, a little higher than average, but prior to these 11 babies, I know VERY few friends of mine who didn't find out.  Like one.

There are definite pluses and minuses to not finding out. 

I'll do the pluses first:

* We received all our practicall stuff at our shower.  Since there is very little gender neutral clothing out in the world, most people gave us things we needed rather than just lots and lots and lots of cute clothing.  It's nice to know that we have tons of diapers, all our bottles and accessories, as well as all of the basics that Pud could ever need.  I've been to so many baby showers where the mom to be received nothing but clothes and blankets- most of those clothes being 0-3 and 3-6 month outfits that the child will grow out of so quickly.  Many of my friends have put away clothes with tags still on them because they never had a chance to wear them.  It's nice to know we didn't have to spend much on basic items and instead can spend money on the right amount of cute outfits and sleepers that I know will actually get worn.

*We still have the ability to dream about our child and all the possibilities that can come.  We're not currently stuck in a gender specific role, so during the Olympics we dreamed of hockey, skiing, and ariels and now we are thinking about swimming, soccer, and tennis.  We haven't only thought about dance vs baseball or barbies vs GI Joe.  I know that some of those gender specific things will come with time, however it's nice for now to have everything on the table.

*We were going to paint the nursery blue and white regardless of sex as we both adore the color blue, so that did not hinder us in any way.  I love that our nursery can be used for each child and then the child can move to their "big girl" or "big boy" room once the next baby is on it's way.  To me, it just makes more sense this way, though I know that many wouldn't necessarily agree.

*Costs during pregnancy become much lower.  There are very few gender neutral outfits/blankets/boppys/towels/etc out there.  The world of babies is incredibly gender specific.  Since this is the case, not finding out has definitely curbed my ability to shop for Pud and therefore saved us a ton of $$.  Now, once we know what Pud is, I'll be able to (slightly more rationally) buy things we need rather than things that are cute, just simply because they are cute.  So many first time parents slip into the "cute" shopping habit, and again, end up with a lot that the baby will never wear due to the quick growth of babies.  I know I would be one of those parents, and not knowing has put restraint on me and allowed me to practice self control (also the 30 day return policy that almost all stores have has really kept everything in check!)

*I love that when we announce the birth of Puddin' everything about it will be a shock.  The sex, the name, everything!! In so many cases now you know the sex and the name of the baby long before the baby is here and the parents are constantly calling the baby by it's given name.  I like that we just have a Puddin'.  Maybe that's just a little bit of superstition coming out.

The minuses:

*I don't have a closet full of cute clothes, and when I find something truly darling that is on sale, I can't buy it for fear it will be for the wrong sex

*I think it is slightly harder to "know" your baby when you don't know what you are dreaming and praying for.  While I am already in love with Puddin' and would be devastated if anything happened, I think it would be different, perhaps an even more intense feeling, if I knew I was having a boy or a girl

*Trying to pick names for two babies is significantly harder than just narrowing it down for one baby.

*Gender neutral DOES NOT EXIST!!

*At 36 weeks, I just really, really, really want to know!!  I'm dying to meet this baby and truly realize what it will be like to be a parent!

So the question remains, what would we do if we could do it all over?

I think I would still not have found out.  At least for this one, I am still loving the idea of a surprise.  B has said that we are definitely finding out with the next baby.  It's totally killing him!!  And I'm on board with that decision.  I know we still won't share our names until the birth as I really hate when people criticize the name of your future child to your face, but we'll at least be on Team Pink or Team Blue!

What are your thoughts out there?  Did you find out with your first?  Would you find out with your second?  Are you way too impatient to wait all 40 weeks?  I'd love to know!