Friday, October 28, 2011


Ladies, I feel guilty for being pregnant.  Is this normal?  Am I crazy?  I have no idea.  But I do feel this way.  I had a few people I really didn't want to tell my news to because I didn't want to hurt them.  I know how long some wonderful women wait to get pregnant and I know those who continue to miscarry time and time again, and I have definitely had my fair share of conversations with God asking why.  Why is it that 16 year olds who don't want to be moms get pregnant at the drop of a hat but 30 year olds who have college degrees, great jobs, and amazing marriages can't seem to?  Why must fertility treatments be so expensive?  Why does adoption have to be so difficult?  Why isn't wanting a family good enough?  I've never gotten answers, and I know those who are praying so hard for their babies haven't gotten them either.   

I come from a really long line of exceptionally fertile women (on my mom's side).  Seriously, my aunt got pregnant twice (out of three babies) while using birth control (one of those times was TWO forms!).  I realize how lucky I am to take after these women.  It really is a blessing.  With Spencer, we had no idea how long it would take us or what the pregnancy would be like.  Both, it turned out, were fairly easy/lucky.  Yes, I was a week overdue, but I didn't have many complications (until the actual labor part) and I felt great even at 40 weeks and was working full time.  This time, we hoped it would be just as easy to conceive and the pregnancy is a little different (more on that later) but is, so far, progressing without complication. 

I know that being pregnant is a blessing, and I wouldn't change it for the world.  I just hate that I might be making other people upset/feel that it is unfair/sad/etc.  It's NOT fair.  And I wish I could just give everyone who wants one/deserves one a beautiful baby of their own to love on.  It's NOT fair.  My goal for myself is for extra prayers this week and next for those who are waiting on their little, crazy, sweet, bundles of energy.  Yes, someday you, too, will get to pick up all the food off the floor when your one year old dumps it all over, you'll get to fight with them over changing diapers, you'll pick up more books than you can count, you'll fight with stains that just won't come out, but MOST importantly, you'll have someone reach for you, say momma, and kiss you so sweetly that you know nothing could ever be better than this. 


  1. I can only imagine how hard it is to be pregnant with friends who are trying. Two of my best friends were in that situation, one 6 rounds of IVF and the other pregnant 1st try. But a strain on their relationship, however they are back to normal!

  2. Between us (and whoever else is reading these comments), we've been trying for awhile (and don't really know why we haven't gotten pregnant, nothing big but maybe a few small things adding up?) and are undergoing some fertility treatments. And hoping for good news today actually, but urine test was neg this morning so prob not (waiting on blood work results for final answer). HOWEVER, as much as my heart desires a little one and it can sometimes sting when you hear of another person getting pregnant, please know that I think for *most* people going through infertility, we are still happy (maybe deep down for some) for our pregnant friends!! Life isn't fair sometimes and I've wondered why too, but I still want to celebrate my friends' joy. I would hate it if my friends walked on eggshells around me because we haven't been "as lucky." C'est la vie. Do not feel guilty! God has blessed you and wouldn't want you to feel that way, and as someone who has struggled, neither do I! xo

  3. Oh, I am so sorry you are feeling guilty. I am sorry I didn't comment on yesterdays post, congratulations! You should be happy and try not to worry about others so much that it brings you down. Continue to be a good friend as you have been, and will be, and all of your friendships should remain intact through this time. In a few years, hopefully you'll all have kids and can move on to discuss potty training tips and all that instead of pregnancy. Congratulations again, Spencer will be a great big brother!!

  4. Thank you for your comment on my guilt. I guess as women we all have some sort of guilt!

    It's amazing the guilt I feel for not wanting children, the guilt you feel for being pregnant and so on and so forth. Don't feel guilty! God has a path for you and enjoy this blessed time!


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