Hey Ladies, B here. You know, the room painter, dog walker, pink shirt wearer, taste tester, and all around good guy. I have to admit, I read all my wife's posts, but not necessarily every day. I see her updates, I read your comments, and I now know more about Lily Pulitzer and Steven Bonnano than any straight guy should ever know.
That said, sometimes, I get a little peeved. AEOT does too, and I often reply to her with a satirical "why don't you blog about it???" So now I'm being asked to blog about what grinds my gears. Who knows, if it's a success (the term "success" to be defined later), maybe we'll make B's Peeves a semi-regular column...
So here goes: B's Peeves- Olympic Edition
Earlier this week, we saw some beady-eyed canadian dude win the gold medal in the men's moguls. How do we know he won? Did he get down the hill the fastest? Did he ski over the greatest number of moguls? No. He won on a subjective combination of his speed, style, tricks, and NBC telegenics. Why do they need to do this? If the object of the sport is to ski over moguls, why don't we just see who gets down the hill first and give him the medal? The moguls are the same for everyone, so isn't that enough of a challenge? Why do we need jumping? Isn't that what "freestyle skiing" is for? Hell, if you don't want to make it about speed, then make it completely judged, but don't give me a blended score. It just seems to invite some bitter Belgian judge to knock off a few tenths of a point for the Americans just because of the inferior hops in our beer.
Yup, here's your winner-
So we've already seen the pairs figure skating competition and the Men's "Short" program (AEOT had to explain why a short program and long program were necessary. Her valid argument is the sole reason that wasn't another Peeve). Here's my question- When the skater or any one of the members of the pair falls, why do they keep skating? We know they're not going to win! I'm okay with stepping out of a jump or making a triple into a double and continuing from there. After all, everyone could make a small mistake like that, so you need to provide a full program on which to be judged. But if your butt hits the ice, it's time to move along. Thanks for stopping by the olympics, and make sure you stop by some of Vancouver's lovely hash bars before you leave. We're going to give the medals to the dudes who don't fall, and we'll have this competition done in half an hour.
Really? Are these guys really going to get a mdeal out of this?
Seriously, what's with the weather? There isn't a single venue in these olympics that has "perfect" conditions. Even the indoor ones!!
We all know that there's better snow at Boyne Higlands in Harbor Springs, Michigan right now than Whistler, but there's NO REASON the ice shouldn't be perfect for speed skating, short track, and curling. Which brings me to my next peeve...
I want to like this stuff. Seriously, I do. But they're showing it every day, and the good ol' U. S. and A is now 0 and 4 after going to "extra ends" in their last 3 games. The US captain is a pudgy IT Consultant from Minnesota who looks more like an ad for Johnsonville Brats than an olympian. The biggest problem is- I actually kind of like him! He looks like the guy down the hall in the Fraternity house who can bong an entire six-pack at one time. If only he could figure out how to beat someone...anyone. Heck, I think Borat might have a Kazakh team interested in a scrimmage.
Either way, here's a little John Shuster eye candy for you Curling Bunnies (the curling version of hockey's "Puck Bunnies") out there-
Quick shout out, though, to the Norwegian curling team for their pants. Not sure who wins between them and John Daly on the golf course lately. Decide for yourself:
Okay, I'm not making this up. While using Google Images to find photos of the Norwegian pants and John Daly's newest duds, I found out they're actually made by the same company. These crazy Scandinavians are wearing pants from Loudmouth Golf, which is currently the ONLY sponsorship John Daly carries. Small world, I guess.
5. Eastern Time.
Those of you who have been following my lovely wife's blog for a while know that we recently moved from Chicago to Grand Rapids, Michigan. I'm all for it. I'm a Maize & Blue kind of guy. I love being Up North. I'm ready to be a Michigander (that's really what they call it) for the rest of my life. But, seriously, I'm exhausted. I can't stay up until midnight just to watch The Colbert Report, and watching it the next day makes it feel like yesterday's news- literally. And now that the olympics are on, AEOT and I are not getting nearly enough sleep. And you can guess the level of pregnancy meltdowns that come with an overworked, and over-tired pregnant woman. Also, since the Red Wings are in the Western Conference, just about every road game they play doesn't start until 10pm here. It's not like people get to go to work an hour later here, so why does everything start an hour later?
Ugh. That feels better. There's 5 things that are Peeve...ing me right now. There are several things I like out there, especially in the Olympics, so maybe I'll do one of those in the next few days. Till then- stay classy, ladies.
ETA: It's AEOT again, Just laughed out loud reading this!! Can I say that MY Olympic peeve is Bob Kostas hair?? Seriously, the dye job is HORRIFIC. I understand that not all men want to have salt and pepper hair (though it is extrememly distinguished looking to me); however, when I can tell that you have dyed it b/c the color is so unnatural, it's time to find a new stylist. Maybe it's just because I see in in HD (but most people nowadays do!!). I should probably stop dwelling on it b/c every night I make the same comment about how bad it is. To give the guy some credit, I do really like him and I love his pocket squares (right Alexis??).
Also, B and I totally disagree on the moguls. I simply adored watching them and could watch every single night. I can't imagine what their knees will be like at 40 (early replacements anyone?), but it is simply amazing to watch them come down the hill so fast, in such a tucked position, and then do really cool skillzzz in the middle. If you watch repeats, the people who won were truely better than anyone else, so subjective or not, they won because they deserved the gold.