On Friday, May 14th I went to the midwife's office for another apt, non-stress test, and fluid level ultrasound. I was dilated to about a 2 (no change from earlier in the week), Spencer (or Pud as he was still known then) still hadn't dropped, and all the testing was fine. Since I was going to be a week overdue on Sat, the midwife wanted to induce over the weekend. She said the risk of fetal concern was significantly larger between week 41-42 and often not worth the risk of waiting. Well, neither of us were going to argue that logic and so we scheduled the induction for Sat night at 8 p.m., thinking we would meet our little one on Sunday, May 16th.
Well.................so much for planning :)
Friday night B and I went out for dinner as our 2nd "last date night" before the baby (we also did this the weekend before). We headed out for Italian food and settled in on the screened in porch for a great dinner. As we were deciding on dessert, all of a sudden I felt a gush. Like, a huge, just wet my pants, gush. I said to B, I think my water just broke. He looked at me like I was crazy!! We grabbed the waitress, told her we were ready for the check, and then I asked very quietly if she could bring a few towels from the kitchen as my water had just broken. She went to grab them, the manager came (and comped our check!!), and they hustled us out of the restaurant as quickly as they could. They were really sweet about it, but I'm sure they were thinking "Let's get this crazy pregnant woman out of here so that she doesn't deliver in our restaurant!!" On our way home to grab our things, we called the midwife who said to get home, take a shower, and start couting contractions. Then I was to call her again at 10 to let her know what was going on.
From 8-midnight, I wasn't really progressing. Occasional contractions, but nothing consistent and was still leaking lots of fluid. So, we were told to head to the hospital as they would be inducing me that night. We checked in, I got an IV, we were hooked up to monitors, yadda yadda, and we were allowed to sleep for a few hours. I got a total of 1 hour of sleep in 36 hours, so that 1 hour became more and more precious to me as time went on. They started the pit at about 5 a.m. and I did start having more regular contractions. We walked in the hallways, used the birthing ball, and got in the tub (awesome) until the midwife got there at about 9 a.m. When she did an internal exam, I had the most excrutiating pain ever. WAY worse than contractions. Since Spencer hadn't dropped (ever), my cervix was pulled up extremely high and she had a really hard time finding it and couldn't feel his head at all. I seriously lost it and was hysterically crying on the table. It was awful (and embarrassing). That's when they decided to start the epidural. I hadn't wanted one, but in light of the fact that they would be checking my cervix every 30 min - 1 hour and they wanted to jack up the Pitocin from 5 to 20 over the next few hours, I agreed. The anesthesia was a blessing as the next internal was barely registered by me.
They turned up the Pitocin at that time and after the anesthesia kicked in, both baby Spence and I started having some troubles. My blood pressure dropped to 80s/40s (quite low and stayed this low even after 5 liters of fluid - it shouldn't have) and his heart rate dropped to the 80s (babies should be between 120-130 in utero). Also, even with the Pitocin going and the increased contractions, he wasn't dropping at all and was angled slightly towards my hip bones rather than towards the birth canal. It was at that time that my midwife called in the OB as a consult for a potential c-section. He came in (lovely, lovely man) and explained what was going on, why everyone was concerned, and what my options were. They all basically said that I could labor for approx 4 more hours and see if he would come out naturally and then perhaps have an emergency c-section if necessary, or I could have the c-section right then. Well this extremely hormonal, tired, and scared lady just lost it and started in with one of those crying jags where you feel like a five year old who didn't get the treat he wanted at the store. I felt terrible losing it like that and knew I should get myself under control, but I just couldn't! So I cried it out, talked to both B and my mom, and then made the decision that getting a c-section was the most logical and safe choice for all involved. I would've kept going if it were just me (I really, really wanted a normal delivery), but with the baby's heart rate so low and the risk that that presented, I knew I would never be able to live with myself if something happened to him b/c of what I wanted vs what was safe at that time.
Very quickly after I made the decision, I was rolled into the small OR on the labor floor and the surgery commenced. All in all it went quite quickly and smoothly. B stayed up at my head the whole time- he was NOT interested in seeing my insides (ugggg….glad he didn’t). He did look over the drape once the baby was out to announce to me that it was a boy! I just cried and cried at that point. The nurses took Spencer right away to do all of their assessments (unlike in a natural birth where the mommy gets to hold the baby before anyone else) which was hard. I really just wanted to see him and make sure he was healthy. But they were able to assess him, do his Apgars (8 and 9!!), and make sure he had no heart rate problems outside the womb. B was able to trim the cord at that time too. I was a little surprised to hear that he was 9 lbs 2 oz as that was much bigger than he seemed when he was inside. I can’t believe that he actually fit in me now that I’m holding him- that’s a lot of baby!
I was very disappointed in the fact that I had to have a c-section for numerous reasons. All of which I still feel regret for; although in my heart of hearts, I know it was the right decision. In the grand scheme of things, it’s okay now b/c he is here and healthy. Funny though that the number one reason I chose to go with a midwife group was the significantly lessened chance of a c-section!
Overall, I am healing up pretty well. Yesterday was my first day without having to nap and I survived. I’m weaning myself from my pain medications, and the incision site looks pretty good. I have on a “regular” outfit today (a skirt a size larger than I normally wear, but hey, at least it’s not maternity!), though I am not sure I could get into jeans or real pants any time soon. It’s soooooo weird to now have a flabby belly where just 10 days ago a rock hard (albeit huge) belly stood. I know, I know……………all the weight will come off over time. I’m not even worried about the weight at this point to be honest. It’s just an observation about how our bodies work. B is mightily impressed by, shall I say, the upper portion of my body now that my milk is in. Holy Toledo, Batman, it’s definitely different!
Updates on Spence and new pictures to come soon. Being a mommy takes a lot of time, especially now that my mom is not here cleaning, doing laundry, cooking, gardening, etc. She was the most amazing source of help I could have ever hoped for. I would highly recommend a week long stay post-partum by a parent if you get along with them. We could not have done it without her!!
Trying really, really hard to keep up on everyone’s lives out there. Commenting is tough, but know I am thinking about you all!